Meze, Part 5: Salat Aravi

Bale-Christ thinks it's Delicious

And we finally reach the conclusion of our Epic Meze Weekend with the one salad I could eat for the rest of my life: Salat Aravi. According to Gil Hovav, this salad is the single most iconic dish of Israeli cuisine (you should read whatever this guy types, He is fucking AWESOME), even though it was apropriated by Israeli Jews from Arabs since time inmemorial. It's got as many variations as there are cooks arround the mediterranian, but the one thing they have in common is that all the vegetables are chopped as finely and uniformly as possible. This is the measure of the cook's ability and knife skills.

For this recipe, I'm going with the more traditional morroccan version, which is my all-time favorite. It brings fond memories of all my amazing travels to Morrocco (through the Food Network and Travel Channel, of course), and is always a hallmark of summer in my house.

So start with 2 large cucumbers, peeled, and cube them uniformly. Size is up to you, I like my salad to feel like a salad and not a salsa.

Next, seed and chop 4 medium tomatoes to roughly the same size as your cucumbers.

 Finely chop the greens from a whole bunch of scallions and a bunch of cilantro.

Fucking Kitchen Ninja skillz right here

 Now put your vegetables in a bowl...

Shit.... We're gonna need a bigger bowl.....

 ...or two...

... and add about 3 heaping tablespoons of dried dill. This is dill. Some jars will say "Dill Weed". You can't smoke it, dumb ass, so don't try it. Dried dill is a lot less flavorful than fresh. You'll want to use a lot more than 3 Tbsps if you jar's been sitting on the shelf for too long.

Dress the salad using 1/2 a cup of olive oil, 1 cup of freshly squeezed lemon juice, salt and pepper.

Turns out it did fit in one bowl....

Let it sit in the fridge for a few hours and prepare to have you mind blown

Printer-Friendly Version:

2 very large cucumbers, peeled and chopped
4 medium tomatoes, seeded and chopped
1 bunch scallions, finely chopped
1 bunch cilantro, finely chopped
3 Tbsp chopped dill
1 cup lemon juice
1/2 cup olive oil
Salt and pepper to taste

1. Throw everything in a bowl
2. Fucking rule the table, yet again
3. Leave a comment, awesome people do.

Meze, Part 4: Lentil Tabouleh

My apologies to any middle eastern readers who might stumble upon my latest posts. I take it as a personal insult when foreigners make bastardized versions of mexican food, and yet, here I am, tweaking a salad that can pretty much be considered sacred in the arabic world.

It actually turned out pretty good, if I may say so myself, and after a little research, I found that there are a number of variations all across the region, so my idea of substituting lentils for bulgur didn't seem so bad.

Tabbouleh (or tabule, or tabouli), is arabic for "little spicy", and it combines pretty much all the basic flavors you will find at a meze table in one amazing salad.


So let's get cooking: Remember those lentils left over from last week's post? Yeah, that's what I used here. So start with 3 cups of cooked lentils, following the previously posted method, and add a large bunch of finely chopped parsley.

NOT cilantro, player!

To that, you will add 3 large roma tomatoes, seeded and finely chopped.

No finger chunks! I'm a fuckin kitchen ninja!

Next, take whatever kind of onion you have and finely chop about 1/3 of a cup of it and add it to the mix. You can also add garlic, but I used scallions and that would have been overkill.

Dress the salad by adding 1/2 a cup of olive oil and 1/2 a cup of lemon juice. Season with sea salt. It's ALWAYS sea salt with me. Unless I cook with Himalayan pink salt (which is actually not from Nepal). In that case, you will be warned.

Straining the seeds out of SEEDLESS lemons... fucking smart, hater

AWESOMENESS

Often served along lettuce leaves

Printer-friendly version:
Tabbouleh (feeds a lot of people)
3 cups lentils (or, if you're going purist, hydrated bulgur)
1 large bunch of parsley, finely chopped (Lebanese tabbouleh tends to have a lot more)
3 roma tomatoes, seeded and finely chopped
1/3 of a cup onion, finely chopped
1/2 cup olive oil + 1/2 cup lemon juice
Sea salt and pepper

Optional: finely chopped cucumbers, mint, garlic and if you're going Turkish, pomegranate juice and tomato paste

1. Throw everything in a bowl
2. Let it rest for a few hours in the fridge
3. Awesomeness

Meze, Part 2: Hummus

Continuing with the mezédhes, what meze table is complete without HUMMUS?!
It's fucking delicious, it's super-easy to make, it's dirt-cheap and it'll score you some major lady-wooing points to actually fake some culture. Hummus is also nothing like the shit you'll find in tubs at Costco, and it's so good, I'd practically put on candy bars too:

Good hummus starts with good produce, so skip the canned shit and go straight for the dried chickpeas sold in bulk. Get yourself 2 lbs, rinse them and soak them overnight in enough water to cover them by 3 inches. Add a heaping tablespoon of baking soda to the soaking water. This will eliminate the funky smells that tend to come out during the soaking.

The next morning, the chickpeas will have almost doubled in size. Drain them, rinse them, bring them to a boil, then simmer them for 2 hours. The baking soda will harden their peels a little, so they may take longer so cook than you'd think, but the flavor is completely worth it.

Once they are fork tender, take 3 cups and put them un the food processor. Save the rest for next week's salad post, (or add them to your chicken soup or something) and add about 1/2 a cup of good olive oil to the processor. Yes, I know it's a blender. No, I don't own a food processor.

See that buttery goodness WITHOUT butter? That's what you're striving for

Now, start blending (or processing, whatever), adding a little more oil and some water until you reach the consistency of smooth peanut butter. This is your base.

At its most elemental, hummus is just chickpeas and some spices. So we're going purist here. I'm just adding a little garlic, very little cumin, salt, pepper and paprika. And THAT'S IT. No need to go overboard here, this will be the next addition to your comfort food nirvana list.

Printer-Friendly Version:
3 cups boiled chickpeas (method shown above)
1/2 cup olive oil
1 large clove of garlic
Salt, pepper, very little cumin and a lot of paprika

1. put everything in a food processor until in resembles peanut butter
2. Awesomeness

 

Meze, part 1: Roast leg of Lamb, Marinated in Yoghurt and Mint

Ok, I know it seemed like I abandoned coooking lately, but work really tied me up for the past couple of weeks. I'm gonna make it up to you by publishing a long thread of posts form the SAME F***ING PARTY, coz I can't afford to cook like this every goddamn weekend...This time, we went the whole 9 yards and actually sacrificed a freaking lamb!!!

There's so many of them, they're practically begging for it!

And who knows lamb better than the Middle East? NO ONE, people.

So hate me all you want, gringos, but middle eastern food does not equal anti-americanism and terrorists. If you feel like running away at the sight of the slightest arabic-sounding word, then you're missing out on some of the best food you can throw on a grill.

Meze is a mediterranean and middle eastern concept for lunch (in Turkish: to taste), akin to chinese dim sum and spanish tapas, where lots of different plates are served in small portions, accompanied by some sort of digestive drink. Greeks drink ouzo, Turks drink raki, Syrians drink arak... but ingredient availability forced us to drink Tequila. Not that it's a bad thing, though.

Start with two legs of freshly slaughtered lamb. Rinse them down with cold water and trim some excess fat from it. No too much, though.

Set them aside for a while and chop a whole bunch of mint (just the leaves).

In this case, peppermint.

To that, add 3 large garlic cloves, finely chopped, and about a fistful of finely chopped flat-leaf parsley

Put that in a bowl with about 1/3 of a cup of olive oil, essentially making mint chimichurri

Now break out your best greek yoghurt and add about 4 cups to the mix, along with some sea salt.

 

This is your yoghurt sauce. You'll never tolerate shitty store-bought ranch dressing again, I swear. Save 2 cups to serve with the meat and place both lamb legs inside a large plastic bag along with the rest of the yoghurt. Let it marinate overnight and dream of awesomeness.

Greek yoghurt is thick, tangy, unctuous and delicious... pure Nirvana right there

 

Never forget to fondle your meat. Lamb loves to be fondled

Now set your lamb legs over white-hot coals sprinkled with your last BBQ's ashes (WHAT?! you throw your ashes away?! I pity you). The ashes will even the heat distribution and minimize smoke as fat drips from the meat. Or in this case, indirect heat over a gas grill set at medium.

Cover your grill and get a drink. Meze is supposed to be served with booze after all. Don't mess with the lamb for 30 minutes so it develops a crust.

Gentlemen.... start your engines

Now, after 2 or 3 scotches (30mins, by our standards), uncover and flip

At this point, the smell is so wonderful, it attracts stray neighbors. Gloat in your grilling prowess. You deserve it

Now, while the meat cooks and right before the booze kicks in and you're too hammered to operate a mortar and pestle, grind 2 large sprigs of fresh (I mean it, FRESH) rosemary with 1/2 lb of kosher salt. This will be your seasoning once you serve.

Watch those thumbs, dumbass

Once you've pounded the shit out of that rosemary, the salt will turn a lovely light shade of green and the whole room will smell like vacations.

Also, rim your margaritas with this and you'll be getting laid like Frank Sinatra

Now, 30 minutes have passed, it's time to check your meat for doneness. This being a large piece of bone-in lamb, you have to sneak a peek and see for yourself.

We like our lamb a little on the rare side,but feel free to shave some meat off and return the pieces to the fire. Serve with pita bread, the yoghurt sauce, seasoned salt and assorted salads (recipes in future posts).

You know you're doing it right when parents tweet your cooking, son

Printer-Friendly Version, for those of you with teflon coating on your brains:

Ingredients:

2 legs of lamb (approx 12 lbs)

1 lt (4 cups) of thick, full fat greek yoghurt

1 large bunch of mint, finely chopped

1 bunch of flat-leaf parsley, finely chopped

3 large cloves of garlic, finely chopped

2 sprigs of fresh rosemary

Sea salt

Olive oil, at least 1/3 of a cup

Booze, lots of it

1. Rinse and dry your lamb, place in a plastic bag.
2. combine mint, parsley, garlic, yoghurt, olive oil and salt in a bowl. Add 2 cups to lamb and marinate at least overnight. save the rest for the grilled meat.
3. light up your grill, start drinking.
4. grill over white-hot coals lightly covered in ashes, covered, for 30 mins, then flip and cook for another 30 minutes.
5. pound the shit out of that rosemary and salt in a mortar and pestle.
6. Slice, serve, and feel awesome