domingo, 14 de octubre de 2012

The Sexy MoFo

I've been on Keto for 5 weeks so far, and I've lost ruoghly 9 Kg (20lbs) already. Yesterday, I wanted to celebrate, so I bought a couple of 1lb New York Steaks and made these. This is, by far, the most decadent piece of dead cow I've eaten; and I assure you, it's a guaranteed ticket to rock star sex.

Start with your steaks. This is New York, my second favorite cut after Prime Rib. Thesse are about a pound each, no fat trimmed. Season them profusely with sea salt and pepper and let them rest for at least 15 minutes at room temperature.

Fuck it, I don't want to lose that tradition. Resting your steaks while heavily salted does a number of things. First, sodium denatures and breaks colagen, so the meat will naturally tenderize. Second, it draws moisture from the steaks, which lets the surface caramelize better. Third, as it draws moisture from the meat, the liquid will dissolve some salt and allow it to be reabsorbed into the steaks, seasoning it evenly and ensuring an even distribution of juices. Also, NEVER use table salt. The iodine will turn everything bitter.

As your steaks rest, slice 1/2 an onion per person thinly across the grain, then caramelize them over a medium high flame with 2 Tbsps butter and 2 Tbsps olive oil per onion.

When your steaks reach room temperature, heat a large skillet over a very high flame and set your steaks fat-side-down to render some grease. You need to let it brown a little on the steaks, then set them flat on the skillet and cook for 10 minutes on each side (for medium), FLIPPING ONLY ONCE.

As I've said before, the flip-once phylosophy has nothing to do with being a fucking douchebag and proving your physchic meat-guessing abilities. It's actually much easier to develop an even crust by not moving your steaks around so much, and pinching or squeezing on your steaks constantly will only render more juices out of the meat. Also, it frees your hands.

Once the meat is cooked, transfer to a wire rack over a plate and cover losely with foil. Allow the steaks to rest for at least 5 minutes. This lets the colagen relax and distributes the juices evenly inside. Otherwise, you'll be left with a puddle of blood and a piece of leathery shit on your plate.

Now, while your steaks rest, return your attention to the onions. They should be nice and brown by now. Add 1/2 cup of half and half per onion, salt and pepper to taste and stir.
 Spoon the onions evenly on the steaks, then crumble 1 Oz of your favorite blue cheese on top. Now fucking melt that shit with a torch.

Serve with whatever greenery you have on hand to fill up the plate. Ignore that shit and focus on the meat.

Per serving: 1,300 kcal, 16g carbs, 55g fat, 143g protein. Not exactly low carb, but I can't imagine anyone eating more than this for a whole day, so we're cool.

The Sexy Motherfucker
Serves 2

2 New York steaks, 1 lb each
1 medium onion
2 Tbsps olive oil
2 Tbsps butter
125ml half and half
2 Oz blue cheese
Salt and pepper

  1. Season your steaks profusely and let rest for at least 15 minutes at room temperature.
  2. Slice the onion thinly and brown on oil and butter.
  3. Render some fat from each side of the steaks, then cook for 10 minutes per side, flipping only once.
  4. Let the steaks rest for 5 minutes, losely covered with foil.
  5. Mix the cream into the onions, then top the steaks with this and 1 Oz of blue cheese
  6. Scorch the fuck out of them with a torch
  7. Serve and get laid, you glorious bastard