I apologize for the 9 month hiatus, guys, but shit got sort of fucked up in these last few months and it only just started to improve. I'm not dwelling on my emo bullshit. Suffice it to say I'm now happily married and have 3 wonderful jobs I love.
Anyway, I'm deviating from the standard, cholesterol-laden fare I so love to feature here to introduce you to some weird as fuck vegan food: Seitan. Most people (or at least, most people I know) have never heard of it, and nearly gag when they see it come out of a can.
|And this is AFTER the food stylist|
Also known as "mock duck", you can find different varieties of it in specialty asian food stores, be it canned or vacuum-packed. It's essentially wheat gluten, clumped up in rubbery, spongy nuggets of vegetarian misery flavored with all kinds of spices that ultimately make it taste nothing like meat or duck or actually food.
Start with 1 kg of plain, all purpose flour, unsifted. Mix it with about 2.2 cups of cold water in an electric mixer. Make sure your mixer can take it, because this thing will turn into a rubbery clusterfuck in a few minutes. Turn it out to a counter and knead for a few minutes.
|Some people season the dough when mixing, but I find it completely unnecessary|
Seitan (Wheat Gluten Meat Substitute)
- 2.2 lbs all-purpose flour
- 2.2 cups cold water
- Vegetable stock, soy sauce and whatever condiments you feel like putting into it
- Patience, young Padawan. A lot of it.
- Make a dough mixing the water and flour and kneading for a few minutes, it should be elastic, but not necessarily smooth.
- Cover it completely in water and let it rest for 8 hours, undisturbed.
- Rinse under cold water over a washcloth lined collander and gently rub between your palms until the water runs clear.
- Form 4 dough balls and boil for 45 to 60 minutes in whatever the fuck you feel like.
- Let cool and cook like chicken breast or something.
- Be awesome and leave a comment, bro.